I've watched a lot of finales in my day and I can't think of another as well-choreographed as this one. It's beautiful, really. All the major storylines got resolved in the same location one after another and none of them crossed in the episode. Like... We didn't even see cast members lingering in the background of other people's scenes. Some might see this as proof that the show is fake because they used the same set all day. And... I mean... yeah. We all know wrestling is fake, right? But don't wrestlers go home sore? Love and Hip Hop cast members are put in crazy situations in a controlled environment. So... it's as fake as... jail.
Ok. Wild analogies aside, let's wrap up this season...
Trick Daddy and Joy
I think it's insane that Joy thought Trick was going to do anything she wanted after she spent all season talking about how uncooperative he is. But whatever... Gotta remain hopeful, I guess? I feel like this storyline was just to give Trick Daddy something to do on the show since the show wouldn't work without Trina and Trick Daddy. If I were putting this story together, the divorce party would have been sooner and the divorce would have been final by the finale and in between would have been all about Trick and strippers. Or I would have had them sit down with Dr. Jeff (my birthday twin!) or Dr. Sherry instead of Trina and Messy Ass Dawn. In any case, contested divorce is a thing and Joy doesn't need Trick to give her a divorce if she doesn't want to be married.
Gunplay and Keyara
I was really glad to see Gunplay get all spiritual in an effort to get back on the right track, but I'm on Keyara's side. He needed to do "something necessary" in order to show he's serious. Honestly, though... whether Keyara will stay with him is irrelevant. He needs to get and stay sober for himself. Because... I wouldn't have guessed that he's Puerto Rican or under 40 years old. Like... he has no distinguishable features on his face for real and I don't know his real name. So before the Santeria scenes I thought he was just on the show because people know he's from Miami and Rick Ross wasn't available. Gunplay and Keyara are cool for the show, but I'd be ok if they didn't return.
Bobby and Trina
I love Tip as Bobby's best friend and the female peacemaker on the show, but the Trina and Trina's Cousin Bobby storyline is boring. I just don't believe this feud was real. I believe Bobby turns up too much and Trina doesn't like it. But the whole "I don't wanna coexist with you," and "I'm a star, you're not" conversation... Yawn. I might watch more of Bobby's mess with Alvin though.
Amara and Veronica + Young Hollywood
Young Hollywood the Clown and Veronica the Clueless love to talk about Amara. This makes sense though because Amara is popping. Let's clear up a few things... We're not all black. Veronica is definitely a white woman and Amara definitely knows all about her culture. The beef is not about hair. It's not about a wig or extensions. If it was, Vega wouldn't be wearing that box blonde and the long fake braid and her bestie wouldn't have this blue hair. Lastly, Amara clearly doesn't need Young Hollywood or any of Vega's friends. Did I mention? Amara is popping.
Bobby and Malik
This was my favorite storyline all season. It has all the good reality show moments and tropes. When Bobby was at that table singing about his devotion to Jeffrey, we knew the relationship wouldn't make it through the season. I haven't seen the wild conversations around sexuality that I was expecting. Instead we all agree that Malik is a problematic homophobe who just happens to be gay so the reunion will be interesting. Anyway... Jeffrey is too good for Malik and I never want to see a reconciliation between them. Now... The clash between Malik and Bobby was highly amusing. Malik has a whole lotta nerve calling Bobby a queen and a "tired ass creature" acting and looking like he does. And I don't know what Bobby said to piss him off, but Bobby clearly won this battle. Bobby is unbothered by Malik's self hating ass. He probably left the set and met Jeffrey at a bar or something.
Shay and Pleasure P
It looks like Shay is committed to being a fucking dummy, which works for the show. We gotta laugh at somebody. Technically this storyline wrapped up episodes ago, but Shay called herself confronting Joy about a man neither of them are sleeping with. If Shay didn't assume everybody is having sex with each other, stayed away from Silly Ass Dawn, and didn't always show up to places wanting to fight, she'd be a normal person. Also if we're being honest, Joy would have beat the hell out of Shay if this wasn't a reality show. I don't need Shay back next season, but I'm sure she will be. Fingers crossed for fresh wigs and a new attitude.
SEASON WRAP UP
Joy's getting "her own" lawyer. Jojo sided with her mother and got cut off. Gunplay's going to rehab. Veronica is an idiot. Pleasure P is the Kandi of Pretty Ricky. Shay is a dummy. Prince is the king of something now. Bobby is growing as a person. Amara la Negra is popping.
REUNION SNEAK PEEK
SEASON GRADE: A
What can I say? I love Southern mess.