Livin La Villa Loca

Livin La Villa Loca
 

We're heeeere! It's the Spain triiip. Can you feel my excitement? Much of this episode is sightseeing shots and the obligatory Room Argument, so I'm thinking we're working our way up to the real fireworks. I'm not mad though. There was plenty light drama to work with here.

It's no secret that I would love to never see Shamea again. But here she is on this trip, taking up space, asking stupid questions, trying to start mess. Usually I'm here for messy, petty characters, but Shamea is too self-important to be endearing to me. Kenya's messy-petty works because she's confident and funny and she embraces being the villain. Nene's messy-petty works because she's confident and funny and she asks the questions we want to ask. Marlo's messy-petty works because she's confident and funny and she's a wild card. Do you see where I'm going here? Shamea wants to knock people down so she can be validated. That's never gonna be cute.

But my real issue with Shamea this episode is how she decided to go at Eva: "Is your boyfriend okay with you dating women as well?" Excuse me?

First of all... Eva doesn't need permission from her boyfriend to be attracted to women. He doesn't ever have to be “okay” with it. It is what it is and it ain't his business. But bitches always think they know something: "I saw on the blogs that you were dating Missy Elliott or somebody." Well, girl, was it Missy Elliott? Or somebody? Get your mess straight before you try to shame people with it. If you find yourself identifying with Shamea, snap out of it, girl. Having a husband doesn't make you better than women who don't have a husband. Not having a "baby daddy" doesn't make you better than single mothers. Quit judging other women when their choices are different from yours. Internalized misogyny. is. not. cute.

Secondly... asking a woman you just met or are getting to know who they've slept with is also not cute. Eva's "Come again?" was more polite than I expected. I don't think we've seen Eva and Shamea have a conversation until this point and that's how Shamea decides to start? Ew.

Another thing... what's up with this obsession with the "lady pond?" This group loooves to talk about which ones of them have slept with women. And they claim they don't mind, they just “want to know.” But that's not true or else we wouldn't have had a whole story-line villianizing Kandi for having been with women, including Porsha or not. Even if they do just want to know, why? For what reason? What difference does it make? RHOA (and other housewives) love their casual homophobia. They're good for calling someone's husband gay or scandalizing a housewife who's dated women in the past. The shit's boring.

Let's talk about Porsha right quick. For whatever reason she thinks she doesn't deserve any of the third degree she's getting from women she's crossed in seasons past. We should all forget about that because she's sorry and she's different now. And did you hear? She's a baby vegan. But girl... that's not how this works. Sure, Cynthia said she wanted to know whatever the girls heard about Will, but she was emotional that night. She was caught off guard. Plus it was the first time she was with a date in the same room as her ex husband who was also with a date. Now that she's had time to chill, she knows she can't really trust what "somebody" told Porsha.

Somebody told Porsha that Peter was paying BarOne servers with sex.

Somebody told Porsha that Kandi planned to drug her and have sex with her.

Somebody told Porsha that Todd was in New York seeing other women and using the alias "Marvin."

So now... Somebody told Porsha that Will is an opportunist.

While Cynthia might be too defensive about Will for my tastes, she's right to be cautious about Porsha's information. We can't just forget the past and focus on this particular situation because Porsha said she really means it this time.

Regarding the other big drama from this episode, I've said all I'm ever going to say about Kim and she keeps on proving me right.

TL;DW

Porsha wants you to forget about all her old lies. Cynthia is still getting to know the new Porsha. All Nene's stuff is new with real tags. Kandi sips too much to be dry. Is Sheree here? Kenya is not.

BONUS

Everybody else is taking cute selfies in Barcelona. Meanwhile... Eva is showing the girls how she won America's Next Top Model...

"I would think t-baggin is a must. It's part of giving a good... head situation. I mean... am I trippin?" - Kandi

Sheree doesn't seem to have much to do when they're not talking about Tyrone. She's been awfully dull the last few episodes.