Say Yes to Distress

Say Yes to Distress
 

Dating or being married on a reality show must be very difficult. (Most of these wives are single afterall...) 50 Cynt out here dating this dude who's half her age. Nene had to divorce Gregg to get him to act right. Kandi finally found her Prince Charming -- a production assistant on this show. And Kenya is on here crying dramatically about not wanting her new husband to divorce her. (Already. Seriously.)

How hard must it be for a HOE to date? So hard that producers have to try to make you reconcile with your abusive ex for your return-season story line. Sheree came back to RHOA last season and brought Bob Whitfield with her. Bravo set us up all of last season to be on Bob's side in this reconciliation KNOWING they had that footage of him saying that foul shit to Sheree in the van. Though... if you've been watching for a while, you already know all about Bob's trash ass. From not wanting to pay child support or see his kids to immature antics at the courthouse, it's been clear that Bob ain't no prize and Sheree is better off without him.

But there he was, right next to Sheree, talking about friendships and second chances. What did he do with his second chance? Joke about choking her. Now thanks to that bullshit, Bravo's got Sheree's new story line: seeing a life coach and falling in love with a felon. I don't care about her new boo, though. I care about the fact that Sheree is in therapy working on talking about her time with Bob without crying. I care that she opened old wounds in search of love (and a story line) and now she has to basically find herself all over again. For this show. Ugh.

How hard must it be for a HOE to date? So hard that your story for years has been failing at love and watching your younger sister and ex best friend get married and start families. Porsha's obviously not with that dude she tried to make sign a contract for some babies last year. She's obviously no longer best friends with Shamea and they need to just go ahead and admit that. Instead, Porsha is right there at Shamea's bridal shower suffering through Kandi and Carmon's passive aggressive petty shade.

Is Shamea happy to see her? Sorta. She's complaining about Porsha deciding not to fly to Kenya for her wedding. (As if international flights are cheap.) Shamea talks all this shit about being surprised that Porsha showed up for the shower. Meanwhile Porsha was in Shamea's dowry ceremony. Turns out, Porsha's been at all of Shamea's bridal events in the United States. Guess it's not enough. Whatever hoops Shamea wants Porsha to jump through, it's too much. They're just. not. friends. And that's ok.

TL;DW

Kandi is trying to win the "Shamea's BFF" Contest. Cynthia is taking super sexy solo baths and going on creepy dates with some young dude. Sheree is seeing Jack Daniels, but not the way we see Jack Daniels. Porsha is also trying to win the "Shamea's BFF" Contest, but not really. Nene is chilling. Kenya is... still married.

BONUS

Vasovagal syncope is apparently a thing.

With a name like Jack Daniels, what else could he have done with his life but help people?

Sheree's Tyrone is also The Tyrone from one of my favorite HOE arguments ever.