50 Shades of Cynthia

50 Shades of Cynthia
 

Real Housewives of Atlanta is back for its tenth season, which is pretty good for a show about a bunch of black women... In fact, it was the only show in the franchise with a black cast until the Potomac series premiered two years ago. The first time Bravo tried (and failed) to hit a lick in Washington D.C. there was only one black woman on the cast even though half of D.C.'s population is black. Other cities in the franchise with sizable black populations (NYC, Miami, and Dallas) don't even include a black friend. Which is weird. I mean... Obviously people want to see us on TV judging by the way RHOA consistently crushes the other series in ratings. It’s also kinda odd that after 11 years on TV the only black women Bravo can find are the ones in America's blackest cities or... very close to them.

But whatever. We're watching and we're gonna keep watching. This season we're here because we love Nene Leakes, we don't believe Kenya Moore got married, and the explosive finale of last year's boring season has us on Phaedra Parks watch. Let's get into it...

For some reason Porsha Williams is still on the show despite her part in the Phaedra mess last season. She's mad at Nene for saying she should have been let go (even though we all agree). She's "trying" to make amends with Kandi, who would rather eat garbage than sit with her. And the only people who seem to want to film with her are related to her or Sheree Whitfield (who'll shoot with anybody). I'll probably be fast forwarding through her scenes this season. Unless she's with Nene, of course...

Nene is the best housewife of all the cities. (This isn't debatable, but I might listen if you want to make a case for someone else.) She left the show completely in season 8 because really... it was just time. The show was boring and she didn't really need it. But last season's finale basically ensured that RHOA would be popping this season. Why not bring back its OG for even more ratings?

Here she is, back, better than ever, richer than everyone else (except probably Kandi Burruss), and asking all the pertinent questions: "Is Kenya married?" "How long did they date?" "What's his name?" "Have you met him?" Per Kenya's BFF, Cynthia Bailey: "Yes." "[8, 6, or 4] months." "She calls him Baby." "No." So... iono.

To be clear... I believe Kenya Moore is married. Mostly because I don't care if she's not. Just like I didn't care she was faking it with Walter or laying it on thick with Matt. I'm just not that into her. She's a good villain, and much like Sheree, her best story lines involve her beefing with other people. I understand why she wouldn't want her husband on the show; he's the best and realest part of her and it's her prerogative. But if I were her, I'd shoot all my HOE-less scenes with family members and my dogs, and never even mention Marc. Actually... I probably wouldn't have even returned for this season. Her marriage is her tagline. It should have been her swan song.

TL;DW

Kandi stays (self) employed and she still hates Porsha. Nene is back and asking all the right questions. Cynthia wants you to know she's 50 and very single. Kenya is married, but she's been so duplicitous and delusional in the past that no one believes her. Porsha is a snooze and she should have been fired. Sheree is still collecting bones, but she's also working on living her best life.

BONUS

All I can think about when I see OLG is that bad health inspection grade and how I hate the name "Old Lady Gang" for a restaurant.

50 Shades of Cynthia is an excellent party idea. Had I been invited this would have been my Cynthia look:

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For the record, Nene really didn't say "Porsha should be fired." She was asked who she'd get rid of and she said "FREAK AND FRAUD ... they're de-classing the show." Typical Nene stuff.